Temporary Setback
by Sweet Bitter Life
Summary: Lily Luna is laying on the bathroom floor, in a night where she hates herself more than ever. But she'll be okay, or so Lysander says. [lilyluna/lysander, rated for depressive thoughts]


**Trigger Warning: Depressive thoughts and self-hatred.**

* * *

"_If I were you, I'd put that away  
See, you're just wasted  
And thinking about the past again.  
Darling, you'll be okay."_

_-Hold on Till May, Pierce the Veil_

…

Lily Luna Potter is a girl of grace and beauty, with beautiful green eyes that shine in the darkest of nights and with fierce auburn hair that match with the autumn leaves.

But now her hair is damp and lifeless, and her emeralds eyes are closed as she lies down against the bathroom door, her arms folded around her legs and her head on her knees. The icy cold from the bathroom tiles is spreading through her body and it makes her feel motionless, even though she's really not.

Her eyes are blotched from all the crying and her throat is dry and raspy, and it hurts to swallow. She tries with all her might to avoid looking at herself in the full-body mirror, because she knows she's not ready to see how disgusting she looks at the moment.

She sits there for who knows how long, thinking about her mistakes and her faults, which seemed to overlook any good left in her. How could anyone care about this silly girl when she was this grenade of bad faith waiting to explode?

The feeling of self-hatred grew over the years until it settled inside her heart without a warning, and it demanded to be expressed, to be shouted.

She loathed herself with a passion like no other. How could ever someone touch a failure like her?

"Lily, love, you're doing it again."

That voice, she recognized that voice, and she unconsciously winced as the person approached her and slowly kneeled before her. She looked up to see two electric blue eyes, so different from her owns, but with the same kind of exotic beauty all the same.

The person shot out a hand to take the bottle of booze laying idly between her fingers. It was half empty. Had she been with that bottle all this time? No wonder she felt like such a mess.

"I thought we had made some progress these few months." The person –she knew exactly who it was but she didn't want to acknowledge him yet— said. Unexpectedly, he took a mouthful of the booze, and sat down beside her on the cold floor, not before draping his cloak over her shivering body. Her heart warmed at the thoughtful gesture and more tears escaped her eyes.

"Why are you wasting your time with me?" She cried.

"I'm not,"

"I'm such a failure,"

"You're not,"

"You're lying,"

"I'm not,"

She laughed heart-brokenly. He was as stubborn as she was.

"You're drunk, Lily." He continued when she laid her head on his shoulder. "And you're thinking about the past."

"I am," She replied. "I was so… Merlin, I was such an idiot. You can't imagine how much I hate myself for being like that."

"But you've changed now." He whispered urgently. "And you are recovering nicely to become a nicer person."

She groaned. "Then why do I feel like this? What is this?"

She saw a tiny smirk at the corner of his lips. "A temporary setback. It's to be expected, but it doesn't mean you can't overcome it."

He turned his head slightly to meet her eyes with his own. "You'll be okay, Lily. I know you will." He said fervidly.

And in that moment, he looked at her with such conviction and almost adoration in his eyes, Lily felt her heart beat wildly in her chest. There he sat, a boy she made fun of most of her life, that weird Scamander boy who believed in Nargles and other fantastic creatures, a boy who always smiled at her even when she couldn't stand the sight of him— he sat beside her and offered his shoulder. It was another thing to hate herself for, for being so disgusting towards a boy who dared to give his all to her.

And even if she didn't deserve his kindness, she craved it, she was drawn to it like the moth to the flame, because she was only human, and all humans crave attention, and _woah, he smells so addictive and are his eyes really that blue? _

She re-evaluated all her thoughts prodding her mind a half hour ago. And she smiled faintly.

"Lysander?"

"Yes?"

"I think you're right," She murmured as she dozed off. "It won't be after a while, but I think I'll be okay."

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For Camp Potter, Activity: Tech Discovery (Write about Lily Luna)

Word Count: 748

AN: My head-cannon for Lily Luna is that she's a problematic teenager. She's the Queen Bee at Hogwarts, and to maintain that position, she has done a lot of things she now regrets (bad grades, drugs, alcohol, going wild at parties, having sex at an early age, that sort of thing). And I ship Lily and Lysander so there.


End file.
